Slayers: The Unlikely Story
by libra-gurl
Summary: We all know the Slayers gang are great at fighting evil, but I wonder what or who they will be if they ever lived in real life? Well, for those who were wondering as well, here’s my take at what will happen so jump right in!
1. Saved by a Jellyfish?

**Disclaimer:** _Slayers doesn't belong to me, it belongs to its copyrighted and rightful owners. Duh._

**Summary:** _We all know the Slayers gang kicks ass at fighting evil, but I wonder what or who they will be if they ever lived in real life? (As in, reality.) Well, for those who were wondering as well, here's my take at what will happen if the Slayers gang happened to be in our universe instead of the alternate one, hehe. Okay, so I know that the Slayers gang are in school and some of their ages have been altered to fit into the story, and it's kinda a ripoff off my old fic, Slayers: Trapped in School?! but hey, this one is more original than that one, and the Slayers gang is in school originally instead of being trapped in it, so yeah._

***

It was another morning, another day, and Lina Inverse is up by the time the alarm clocks reads 7:30. "Ahhhhh, why do I have to wake up so early?" she moaned to no one in particular. "Stupid school. I can't wait 'till I'm done with it." Lina, being 15-years-old, is a freshman in high school, and today is her first day of school. Far from being nervous, she's actually ready to beat up anyone who gets in her way. Some things will never change. 

After taking a bath, Lina went downstairs to eat her breakfast and comes face-to-face with her sister, Luna. "Aargh! Oh, God, don't scare me so early in the morning, you evil woman!" Lina shouted.

"Excuse me?" Luna said, raising her eyebrow. "Who the heck would cook you breakfast if I don't cook, huh? I don't see you trying to cook! And don't shout so early in the morning."

"Yeah, well, I would've cooked if you'd let me," Lina mumbled.

"Yeah, well, I would've let you cook if you hadn't blown up the kitchen the last time you tried." The poor kitchen had to be reconstructed. The stove had never been the same afterwards. There were still obvious burn marks on some of the cabinets.

"Oh, stop putting me down," Lina said, rolling her eyes and eating the French toast her sister had prepared.

"Whatever, little sister," Luna said. "I'm going to be home late tonight. I cooked dinner already, so just heat it up, okay?"

"Oh, stop playing the caring sister," Lina grumbled. "I could've just bought some takeout."

Luna glared. "I have a feeling you _will_ order takeout. I only cooked one meal. You'll probably order 7 more meals, won't you?" 

Lina just grinned. She looked at the watch, which says 7:50. "Oh, crap! I'm going to be late!"

"Oh, it's only a 5-minutes walk from here, stop whining. And classes doesn't even start until 8:30." Luna said as Lina rushed to take her backpack, stuff her mouth with what's left of her French toast, gather her books and run out of the house all at the same time. "See you then! And don't cause any trouble!"

Luna was right, of course. It was only a 5-minutes walk from their house, so it wasn't too bad. Lina's only grumble was waking up early, really. When you wake up early, you're bound to be cranky and get mad at everything. It's rule #55 in life. 

When Lina arrived at school, the bell has not rang yet. She rushed to her new locker in the second floor and groaned when it won't open. "Open up, you damned piece of trash!" she shouted at her locker, kicking it violently.

"Oooh, ickle freshies can't get her locker opened?" a taunting voice said from behind Lina.

Lina groaned. _Great.__ Seniors,_ she thought exasperatedly. Of course, it's not like Lina can't vaporize them in just a second. She just prefer not dealing with the idiots at all, if possible. However, the idiots _are_ idiots, and as such, will never know when to stay away, sadly.

She turned to assess her situation. Five overbearing senior boys stood before her, all of them menacingly tall and bulky. It was obvious from their jerseys that they're football players. It's so typical. Lina was _so_ prepared for the freshmen bullying though. So she just smirked.

"There's no chance in you helping me is there?" Lina asked, grinning wryly, knowing the answer.

One of the seniors, presumably the leader because he was the biggest one among the five seniors, just laughed. "Did you hear that, guys?" he asked among them. "The little freshie dared ask for our help and she's actually smiling!" 

The goons laughed. "Are you stupid or something?" another guy said, this one blond. "Aw, man, I think the freshie's flirting with us!"

_Ugh. How delusional._

This just made the five boys laughed harder though. It's sad that their humour isn't too extended. Undoubtedly, their brains are even lamer. 

"Look, freshie, don't even _think_ of flirting with the seniors," the leader said, grinning and chuckling to himself. "Especially with boobs like _that_! I mean, seriously, dudes, have you guys seen anything smaller than that?" 

"Only an mosquito bite!"

This cracked them up so badly that they didn't even realize that Lina's face had changed from amused to that of fury. Fires blazed in her eyes as she smiles coyly up at them? "Aww, what's the matter? Don't you like small ones? I thought it would accompany your small _you-know-what_!" 

And at the last word, Lina aimed a kick at the leader's crotch.

Except that, before Lina's foot can even kick the leader's crotch, a blond boy had "came to her rescue".

"Stop right there!"

All of them turned to see where the voice had come from.

"What the hell are you doing here?" the leader asked, unaware of what Lina had tried to do before the blond guy came to her rescue.

"Yeah, this is none of your business, _freshie__._" Apparently, these seniors could tell just by one look at the students there to see if they're freshmen, sophomores, juniors or seniors. These guys must have no life.

"Oh, I make it my business when a damsel-in-distress is in… um… distress!" the blond man said. "I am Gourry Gabriev, defender of justice and deliverer of pizza!"

"Huh?" the seniors said simultaneously.

"Okay, yeah, so I don't deliver pizzas," Gourry said, shrugging. "But don't you think it has a certain ring to it rather than just 'I am Gourry Gabriev, defender of justice'?" 

By now the leader has lost all patience with dealing with the freshmen and opted to go for more aggressive moves. "Oh, shut up, you piece of crap!" And with that, he lunged towards Gourry, aided by the others.

Gourry was faster than them, on account of him being smaller than the seniors. (Still, though, for a freshman, he was considerably taller than the rest of the 15-years-old Lina had seen in the school.) He drove a kick into each of the seniors' shins and all of them dropped to the floor. Apparently, they're not really good in combat. Their instinct is just to beat up whoever they want to by driving into them. It would've worked if the person they're trying to beat up didn't know any martial arts or any defensive techniques. It seems that Gourry is a skilled fighter.

Lina just eyed the fight with interest. In all the truth, Gourry hadn't even need to rescue her. She had been doing fine. Well, except that she couldn't open her locker. But that could be remedied. She was a skilled fighter too, probably even more skilled than this blond here is. She's probably a  lot smarter than him, too, going by his not-too-marvelous "speech" at the start of the "rescue". _I mean, "deliverer of pizza"? Give me a break._

When the fight had broken down, Gourry clapped his hands together with satisfaction and grinned at Lina. His face fell when he saw Lina though. "Oh. It's just some lost kid from middle school," he said to himself, sighing.

"_What_?!" Lina exclaimed, outrage. The seniors had gotten up and ran away to the end of the hall. Maybe they're going to report to the monitors. That could be a problem.

"Don't worry, kid," Gourry said, grinning, thinking that he's doing a kind thing to the middle-schooler. "I'll direct you back to middle school. Do you have classes here?"

"I am not a middle-schooler!" Lina said, stamping her foot on the floor. "I'm a freshie—I mean, freshman too!" She pouted and gave Gourry her best death glare.

"Oh," Gourry said, rising his eyebrows. "Whatever you say, kiddo."

Lina narrowed her eyes. Is this guy for real? The bell rang at that time, though, so she had no chance to actually show Gourry just how grown-up she is by beating him up. Lina's motto in life has always been "Just beat them all up". It was clear why she had to transfer schools 7 times when she was still in middle school.

"Oh, I gotta get to class!" Gourry said in a hurried voice, rushing to his class with his books in hand.

Lina just sighed. She turned to her locker. And remembered that she forgot to ask the boy for help with her locker. "Oh, dammit!"

***

Lina finally got to her first period class, Social Studies. _God, I hate this class._ Even though it hasn't started yet, the class outline gave her the idea that it'll be a terribly boring affair. She had arrived late, on account of her can't opening her locker. Which she had tried to explain to the Social Studies teacher, Mr. Fire, but he insist on scolding her for being late to the first class on the first day of school. Lina told him that if he didn't believe her, he could go to her locker and inspect the den she had to put through it for it to fall open. (The poor locker didn't stand a chance.)

High school turns out to be a dud after all, Lina thought. Just like Luna said. 

Of course, there's no way to tell that it'll be a dud. It's just the first period, after all. Things could only get better for her anyway, couldn't it?

"All right, class," Mr. Fire said, clapping his hands once. "Now that you all have seen the outline for the class for the rest of the year, I want to get right into our lessons for today. Before that, though, I want to ask you all what history means to you." Mr. Fire grinned his annoying elastic grin. Lina longed to pull it into a frown.

_What a stupid idea,_ Lina thought inwardly. _Man, this class is going to be the worst one ever._

"We will first start with the latecomer today," Mr. Fire said sternly, looking in Lina's direction. "Miss Inverse. Would you care to share with us what you like about history, if there's any at all?" 

"No, not really," Lina said, shrugging nonchalantly. The other students threw crooked grin among each other. They so loved a rebel and classroom drama. And it's only the first day of school! What luck. 

Mr. Fire gazed at Lina long enough for Lina to relent. She sighed. "Okay, fine!" she said, sitting up straighter in her seat. "Ahh, jeez, can't you guys just leave me alone? Okay. What I like about history. Um… okay. I love it because it's good to know about your roots and all and it's nice to know what happens before you were even born and stuff. And besides, it makes you appreciate your situation much more, 'cause people had to go to wars and all before this, but we don't, so we're lucky. And stuffs."

Mr. Fire's eyes were widened. "Well," he said, grinning. "Who would've thought you're such a history lover, Miss Inverse?"

"Oh, yeah, I love history," Lina said, grinning widely. "I mean, the people are dead anyways, so it makes you appreciate that you're alive. But then again, I bet the wars are better than sitting in this boring classroom. I mean, man, even Columbus will drop dead when he hears about the stupid lessons!"

Giggles could be heard from the students.

Mr. Fire had returned to the stern teacher once more. "I think detention would suit you, Miss Inverse. I know it's the first day of school but it seems that you have no respect at all for our education system."

Lina groaned. "Augh, you guys are evil." 

"Hey," a voice from Lina's right hissed in her ear, tickling it. She giggled.

"Stop that!" she shouted to the perpetrator, making Mr. Fire glare at her again. "Sorry."

The perpetrator had happened to be none other than Gourry. "Hey!" Lina exclaimed in surprise, pointing her finger at Gourry. "What are you doing here?" Luckily, Mr. Fire had looked away to question another poor freshman of what they liked about history, so he didn't realize Gourry and Lina were communicating with each other.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Gourry asked her instead. "I didn't know you were smart enough to get into Social Studies in 9th grade!"

Lina facefaults. "Oh my God, are you really that stupid or are you just pulling my leg?"

"I'm not pulling your leg, what are you talking about?" Gourry asked, looking confused. Hey, I never said that Gourry and Lina were intelligently communicating with each other.

Lina blinks. "You're weird." 

"Hey, if I'm weird, you're weirder for getting into high school classes when you're just a middle-schooler!"

"I'm a freshman you moron!" she shouted to Gourry. This causes Mr. Fire to glance in their general direction again, frowning at them.

"Detention for both of you!" he declared to Gourry and Lina.

"Awww!"

***

"I'm telling you, I'm a freshman!" Lina said huffily, glaring at Gourry still.

"That doesn't mean you have to shout at me!" Gourry said, making a sad face. "How am I going to deliver my pizzas after school if I have to serve detention?"

Lina blinks. "Are you telling me you really deliver pizzas?"

"Yes," Gourry blinks dubiously.

Lina grinned. "Well, then, you're my new favourite buddy!"

"Huh?" Gourry said, confused again. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm telling you that I'll consider you as a friend, you weirdo!" Lina said, knocking her fist to Gourry's head. "So. You brought any pizzas along with you today?"

"Pizzas?" Gourry said, his eyes brightening. "Really, where?"

Lina struggled not to hurt the poor guy. "The pizzas you deliver!"

"But I'm supposed to deliver them, not bring them here!" Gourry protested.

"Well, then you better deliver it to my stomach!" she shouted at him, knocking his head again.

"How can I deliver it to your stomach if it doesn't have any address?" Gourry asked, his usual confused look on his face. "Or does it have an address?"

Lina was speechless. "I swear, if it wasn't for the pizzas…"

"What pizzas?"

Lina sighed. "I can't believe I made friends with this goon. You're worse than the seniors this morning."

"What seniors?"

***

Lina was sad to acknowledge that, due to her unlucky fate, she had every one of her classes with Gourry for the rest of the year! It was a tragic fact, that, and if it wasn't for the pizzas, she would've beat him up and ask his guidance counselor to change his schedule. Or beat up his guidance counselor so that he would change Gourry's schedule. Personally, she'd beat up anyone in her frustration.

"Gee, I can't believe that I have every classes with you," Gourry said, grinning. "It's nice when buddies have the same classes together, eh?"

Lina sighed. "Yes, Gourry, it is very nice." Gourry had stick to her like a plague. It was obvious that he was doing so because she's a familiar face, and by instinct, he probably thought that she could have him pass some of his classes. Every time Lina thought of that, she made herself think about the pizzas that she's going to have for lunch and dinner instead.

But Lina had to admit to herself that it was rather nice to have a familiar face, too. True, she had only talked to Gourry only this morning, but he had noble intentions when he tried to unnecessarily rescue her, and he had been a total jellyfish, but he's not a bad person. And besides, there's a certain advantage of him being a pizza delivery boy. ["Oh, would you stop it with the pizzas, already?" asked the author.]

By the time lunch arrived, Gourry and Lina had bonded, though. This was because both of them had similar appetites. The one where they could eat anything and everything edible in front of them. It was lucky, really, that the cafeteria tables were wood and couldn't be eaten. 

"Gourry, that chicken leg's mine!" Lina shouted as she took a chicken leg from Gourry's plate. Gourry had grabbed ahold of it before Lina could chew into it though, so now they're both struggling for it. Other students eating their lunch at nearby tables had stopped eating to see the "tug-of-war-with-food" game.

"Hey, it was in my tray of lunch!" Gourry shouted back, holding on to his chicken leg and feeding his mouth a spoonful of macaronis at the same time. An impressive feat for normal human being, but I doubt Gourry and Lina are what you would call normal.

"No it wasn't, it fell into your tray, it was supposed to be in mine in the first place!" 

"It's mine! I'm a boy so I should have more nutrition!"

"But your brain is smaller so it doesn't need that much food!"

"I know your breasts need more food but—"

"_What_ did you say?!"

"I said that your breasts need more food but—"

"Lina's flying kick!"

The rest of the lunch, sadly, was flying with Gourry too, so in the end, Lina never did get to eat the rest of the chicken leg.

"You stupid idiot, now I'm gonna be starved until I get home!" Lina shouted at Gourry as they both got out of the cafeteria after they were both given detention again. So now they have a total of three hours of detention.

"I'm starving too," Gourry said sadly. "The food went into the trashcan before I could eat it while I was being kicked by you." He sighed. Had he not been a man, Lina suspected that he would've actually cried.

Lina was actually sorry to see Gourry displaying such an act of sadness. "Ahh, don't worry, Gourry," she said, grinning at him and putting a peace sign out at him. "You can always eat some of pizzas you deliver!"

"But I'll get fired," Gourry said, frowning, "won't I?"

Lina frowned. "Well, yeah. Then I wouldn't get anymore pizzas. Argh, no, that can't happen! Okay, I know! We'll order Chinese takeouts after detentions, and we'll go to our house to watch this wrestling match I taped once. That's how I developed 'Lina's flying kick'! Well, no, it was from a Jackie Chan movie. So are you coming?"

"Um… did you say Chinese takeouts?"

"No, actually, I was talking about a Jackie Chan movie and some wrestling tapes that you might wanna check out."

"Huh?"

"We'll order Chinese takeouts."

"I'm there."

And that was how the mismatched friendship came to be about.


	2. Stacy the Statue!

**Disclaimer:** _Slayers doesn't belong to me, it belongs to its copyrighted and rightful owners. Duh._

**Author's Notes: **_Well, if you noticed, I never really disclosed where the high school of the Slayers gang really is, but it's somewhere in the States (because __Japan__ doesn't have lockers! . Yeah, lame reasoning). I won't specify though, because honestly, that would make the story lose its "magic", if it had any in the first place. Besides, it's fun guessing. Hehe.___

***

"See, I told you the Jackie Chan movie was cool!"

"You did?"

"Yeah, I did, you jellyfish!"

"That jellyfish that we ate was great!"

"We didn't eat any jellyfish…"

"Wait, didn't we eat Chinese?"

"Does Chinese food have any jellyfish?"

"What?! Jellyfish in Chinese food?!"

"But you just said that the jellyfish we ate last night was great!"

"We ate jellyfish last night?!"

Lina Inverse sighed. "I'm getting nowhere talking with you, Gourry." She had a smile on her face though. Sure, Gourry Gabriev might not be the best guy to talk about Shakespeare with, but he's a good friend and his goofiness makes him fun to be around with. Well, Lina's not really sure if she should describe his stupidity as goofiness, but hey, one shouldn't judge someone by the size of his brain.

"Where are you getting to?" Gourry asked, perplexed.

Lina sighed again. "Never mind, Gourry, let's just get to class, or Mr. Fire will bite my head off again," she said, slamming her (dented) locker as hard as she can, causing several people around them to jump slightly. Lina, in turn, glared at them. They looked at her (dented) locker and decided that they didn't want to know what happened to it. "What's he got against me anyway?"

"Who's Mr. Fire?"

"Our Social Studies teacher, you weirdo."

"Oh!" Gourry said, slamming his fist into the palm of his hand, thus letting go of the books he was holding, and thus making the books fall down on the floor. 

Lina rolled her eyes. "You're such a jellyfish." She stooped down to help Gourry pick his textbooks up. When she picked up one of the textbooks from the floor, however, she found something else beneath it. "Huh? What's this?"

Lina picked the thing up and eyed it. It's a Statue of Liberty mini-figure that was obviously bought from a souvenir stand somewhere in Staten Island, where the real Statue of Liberty was at. Lina flipped the figure over and saw that there was something written at the bottom of the figure. "What does it say here?" she muttered to herself. "'Property of Rezo. Return if found. Please call 1-800-I-found-this-figure-and-I-want-to-return-it-to-Rezo to return. Black magic somewhere in here. Steal this and die. Or cursed. Look, just return it alright?!' Huh? What kind of a stupid mini-figure is this?"

Lina showed the figure to Gourry. "Is that a type of food?" Gourry asked her instead.

Lina palmfaced her face and sighed. "No, Gourry, it's a souvenir. Apparently someone dropped it or something. Why the heck would anyone bring it to school?"

"So they could eat it?" Gourry suggested.

"No, Gourry!" Lina shouted, exasperated. "It's not edible, okay?"

"Does that mean I can't eat it?" Gourry asked, still perplexed.

"I don't know how you passed your middle school tests, Gourry, I really don't," Lina said, shaking her head. "Well, we better return this or we'll get cursed too. Whatever that means. Do these people still believe in magic or something? Idiots."

The bell rang. 

"Well, we better go or Mr. Fire will have my hide."

"Mr. Fire?"

"Social Studies?"

"Oh!"

***

Social Studies was horrid; Mr. Fire picked on Lina on account of her messing up his class yesterday. Well, it wasn't Lina's fault that the guy can't even take a joke! Okay, so maybe she wasn't joking, she was making fun of the boring class, but hey, the truth hurts. He just has to learn to deal with it. _Jeez, some people,_ Lina mused to herself, shaking her head.

Her next class, gym, wasn't too bad. After all, Lina's an athletic girl. Well, she's most likely to beat up people, anyway, so that kind of makes her athletic in the long run. They didn't exactly do anything yesterday, but today they're preparing to play volleyball. Lina was ecstatic that she got to hit a ball around the court, never mind the rules of the game itself. 

As gym is co-ed, and Lina shares every single one of her classes with Gourry, this means that Lina will either be playing against Gourry or playing with Gourry. As it is, she's playing on the same team with Gourry. They actually made a good pair, what with Lina being really aggressive and Gourry being pretty much passive. Gourry, for all his stupidity, actually had a knack for sports. He seemed perfectly poised for battles (Lina remembered the seniors—she saw them today and ran away when they saw her, apparently thinking that Gourry was with her) and for sport games like these. While Lina injured everyone in the court, Gourry played almost professionally. 

"Wow, Gourry, you're pretty good!" Lina exclaimed when she saw Gourry scored another point against the team they're playing against.

Gourry grinned sheepishly. He almost looked cute doing so. Not that Lina thinks so or anything. Other girls on the sidelines seemed to think so though. Every time Gourry scored another point for Lina's team, they would giggle and cheer for him. And every time they did so, Lina rolled her eyes and made rude motions towards the girls. For some reason, they giggled at that too. _What's wrong with girls these days?_

Unfortunately for Lina, the girls had actually thought she was a guy, and some of them actually thought that Lina was cute for a short guy with long red hair. Had Lina known this, the girls would have been pulverized, of course.

"Gourry, over your head!" Lina shouted unnecessarily as the volleyball sailed over Gourry's head. 

Gourry hit it effortlessly and scored another point, gaining another round of giggling from the giggly girls. Lina shot the girls an annoyed look. She was even more annoyed when they giggled even harder. "Would you girls stop giggling already?!" she shouted.

The girls had stopped giggling immediately, their eyes widened. They began whispering to each other, but their whisperings were loud enough to be heard by everyone in the gym.

"Did you hear his voice?" a blond whispered to a brunette melodramatically.

"Like, it's so high-pitched!"

"It sounded like a girl's!"

"Oh, I know!"

"I _am_ a girl dammit!" Lina shouted, her face red from anger. She flashed her (nonexistent [the author was thwacked by Lina]) breasts to the girls. "See?!"

The silence that followed was deafening. Then all hell broke loose. Several guys fell on the floor laughing, while the rest didn't even bother trying to close their wide-open jaw. The girls, meanwhile, squealed, giggled, shrieked and some even dared to point to Lina and laugh at the same time. The teacher just gawked at Lina, apparently too disgusted to even bother to tell her off for flashing everyone with her (nonexistent [*thwack*]) breasts.

"Oh my God! She's a transvestite!" 

"Hahaha, would you look at how small those are?!"

"For the love of God, pull your shirt down!"

"My eyes! I'm blinded!!!"

"Lina!" a shocked Gourry shouted. "You're a girl!"

Lina went over to her backpack (which she insisted that she didn't want to put in her designated gym locker) and took out the first thing she grabbed and threw it in the general direction of the boys. She took out a lot more and threw it in the direction of the girls afterwards. Several students were seen unconscious, while some screamed and ran away at Lina's show of aggressiveness. 

Lina had apparently saved the best thing to throw for last. She took out the Statue of Liberty mini-figure that she had found this morning and prepared to throw it to Gourry when a voice shouted to her. 

"WAIIIITTT!!!"

Everyone paused in mid-action and turned to the voice. It was a boy with a weird illness of some sort. His face was clear, but from the looks of it (since he's only wearing his gym shorts and a baggy T-shirt), his whole body was covered by some sort of skin illness. His skin is filled with blue-coloured patches everywhere, making him look as if he's a stone figure, when he's clearly moving. His hair was also a weird lavender colour.

"What's that you got in your hand?!" the boy shouted at Lina, making his way towards her.

"Oh, this?" Lina said, looking at the mini-figure she was holding. "It's just a figure." Then she got back into the act of throwing it to Gourry again before the boy held the wrist that was not in the act of throwing anything.

"Give it to me!" the boy said roughly, glaring at her.

"Ouch, you're hurting me you big buffoon!" Lina shouted, snatching back the figure so that the boy wouldn't be able to get it from her outstretched grasp. "Let me go! Are you made of stone or something?"

The boy gritted his teeth and frowned. "No, I'm not," he said. "It just looks like stone, you don't need to say it feels like stone too, you insensitive, flat-chested, second-rate girl."

"Aww, that does it! Why does everyone call me flat-chested?!" she said, preparing to launch her flying kick towards the boy.

"Because you are!" the boy said before dodging her flying kick. He appeared to have calmed down. "Now hand me over the figure."

"Not until you tell me your name and until you state your business with the figure, you dimwit," Lina said, fire in her eyes, her eyes narrowed. The guy really does look like a stone, what was she supposed to say?

"Oh, your insult is oh so wounding," the boy said, rolling his eyes. "I'm Zelgadis Greywords, and the figure is _mine_, so hand it back or suffer from the consequences, you flat-chested middle-schooler."

"Would you stop saying that?!" Lina said, stomping her foot on the ground. Gourry chose that time to come by Lina's side and try to "protect her", apparently still in his hero mode from yesterday's "rescue". He was rewarded with a thwack on the head as he came near Lina, though, for his "Lina, you're a girl!" remark. "How would I know you're the owner? It said here that I should return it to _Rezo_. Your name's not exactly Rezo is it? Oh, wait, don't tell me, Rezo's your nickname?"

Zelgadis' eyes narrowed. "No, Rezo's not my name or my nickname, thank God. But it _is_ my figure, and Rezo is my—"

"Father? Uncle? Great great grandfather?" Lina guessed.

"Oh, shut up and give me the damned figure already!" Zelgadis shouted, losing his temper with Lina, as everyone else always does.

"Well, it certainly sounded like you wrote the inscription on the bottom," Lina said, smirking.

"Look," Zelgadis said, calming down again, "just hand me back the darned thing, and you won't have anyone after you, okay? Do you want to get cursed with this stupid blue spots too? Do you?!"

"Damn," Lina said, looking at the blue spots on Zelgadis' arms and shaking her head. "It takes a lot more to convince me that it comes from this stupid _curse_. What the heck? This is the new millennium, you know? There's no such thing as magic, or a curse or whatever else that's associated with it."

Zelgadis sighed. "Look," he said. "I'm going to make you an offer then, so that we could trade that figure with something else. Just… name your price."

"Heh, that's more like it," Lina said, grinning. "Okay, I want—"

"Miss Inverse! Mr. Greywords! Mr. Gabriev! You will all be serving detention this evening after school!" the gym teacher, Mrs. George, said, fuming as she looked around at the unconscious students around her. Those who weren't unconscious already ran out of the class. (They would've run out of the class even if Lina didn't start rampaging anyway. Dude, it's gym.)

"No, not again!" Lina shouted.

"Didn't we already have a detention yesterday?" Gourry asked Lina, his confused face on again.

"What?! Zelgadis Greywords do not _get_ detentions, it is absolutely unheard of!" Zelgadis said to Mrs. George, glaring at her. "Undo the detention!"

Mrs. George ignored them all and went into her office, slamming the door and muttering something along the lines of "Why did I even become a teacher? For gym? Why is the sky blue? Why is this fic so stupid?" ["Hey!"]

"This is terrible! I've actually gotten myself into detention!" Zelgadis shouted dramatically as the crowd in the gym dispersed, changing into their usual clothes again. Zelgadis turned to Lina, glaring at her instead, now that Mrs. George is gone. "You were the reason I had to serve detention! Give me back my innocence!"

"Zelly boy, you never had any innocence," Lina said wryly.

"I'm made up of innocence," Zelgadis said airily. [Yes, I know, pretty uncharacteristic of him…]

"Of course you are, that's why you almost hit me when you tried to grab the mini-figure?" Lina questioned, grinning. "Look, we'll work out the details of this 'deal' you want to make with me at detention, since we're all going to be there anyway."

"What's the blond got to do with it?" Zelgadis asked, rolling his eyes towards Gourry, who's picking up the astray volleyballs and putting it back where it belonged.

Lina scoffed. "If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't have found the mini-figure," she said. "So you should be grateful. And he's my friend. So he's going to be there, whether you like it or not."

Zelgadis blinked. "I didn't know a tough girl like you have boyfriends, too."

"What?!" Lina exclaimed. "He's not my boyfriend!" she shouted at him. "He's my friend, are you deaf or did the blue spots grow in your ears too?"

Zelgadis just grimly stare at her, and Lina was taken aback by his stare. "We don't need to discuss it at detention," he said after a while. "We have biology together. With the blondie too."

"What?" Lina raised an eyebrow. "We do? I never noticed you."

"Yeah, well," Zelgadis said, shrugging. "I try to get all the back seats in all of my classes."

Lina nodded. "Well, we still need to talk in detention," she said. "Unless you want to get another detention by Mr. Hawke for talking in bio."

"Fine," Zelgadis said. With that, he walked away into the guys' changing room.

"Hey, Gourry, let's go, we have math after this," Lina shouted to Gourry, who was still picking up the leftover volleyballs. "Ms. Wallen is going to freak if we're late for her class, even though she's always late herself."

"Wait up!"

***

Sure enough, in biology, Zelgadis and Lina never got to talk about their deal with each other since Mr. Hawke's watchful eye roved over the students as usual. By the time detention arrived, Lina had pretty much thought of what she wanted if she could ever get to trade it with the mini-figure. _What the heck is so special about this thing anyway?_ she wondered. _It's just an old figurine, looks like it's from 5 years ago or something… And who's this Rezo guy?_ Lina's curiosity reached its peak when she decided that Zelgadis has to pay up a lot for him to get this figure back. 

"Lina, over here!" Gourry called from the detention room after school that day.

"I know Gourry, we were in there yesterday," Lina said, rolling her eyes. 

"Oh, yeah," Gourry said, grinning. "Zelgadis is in here already."

"Oh?" Lina smirked. Looks like he wants the thing as badly as she wants to know why this thing is so important to him. Well, he's going to have a tough time.

Zelgadis was wearing his trademarked frown and glared when he saw Lina coming in. "Okay, let's get this over with, and then we'll deal with detention, and I'll never have to deal with you ever again," he said all in one breath, sighing when he was done.

"Err, okay," Lina said, sitting down next to Zelgadis, ignoring the teacher who's glaring at them. Bet the teacher's mad he had to take care of detention. Most of the time he ended up sleeping on his desk, anyway. Lina found that out just by being in detention for 5 minutes yesterday with Gourry. "Okay, first of all, I want to know why this thing is so important. And who's Rezo? Is this thing really cursed?"

"You asked too many questions," Zelgadis growled, but he sighed and slumped back in his chair. "First, tell me what the deal is."

Lina grins. "Well, let's see," she said, rubbing her hands together. "Okay, I want you to supply our lunch for the entire year, I want you to stop picking the seats at the back of every classrooms you go into, _and_ I want you to tell me _all_ the details about this thing, why it's important yada yada yada. And _no_ skipping any information!"

Zelgadis blinks. "Hey!" he shouted. "That's too much demands! That thing's only a mini-figure!"

"Oh, really?" Lina grinned viciously. "Apparently it's not _just_ a mini-figure to you, or you wouldn't be so enraged about it. It's either you agree with the deal or the deal's off altogether and I'll smash the thing so that you'll never be able to revive it ever again."

Zelgadis groaned. "Why did you guys have to pick it up? Why can't it be some other nice kids?" he muttered, mostly to himself. Then he straightened up. "Okay, I'm willing to divulge some information about the figure, but that's it!" Lina started to protest, but Zelgadis interrupted her. "There are loads of things to tell you about it, and I'm not even sure I should tell you about it but I need that thing back, or else."

Lina frowns and settled back in her chair, Gourry sitting beside her and snoring. (He slept in detention yesterday too. Other than that, there are only two other seniors in detention, and it was the same seniors as yesterday too.) "Okay, fine," she said. "But you can't leave any details out. And I'll be able to tell!"

"Oh, sure you can," Zelgadis said dryly. Lina's stare only made him sweat. "Fine, no details left out. Okay, about that stupid mini-figure—"

"Stacy," Lina stated.

"What?"

"Stacy," she repeated firmly. "That's the figure's name so that we won't have to say mini-figure all the damned time."

"What's up with Stacy?"

"What's wrong with Stacy?"

Zelgadis sighed. He knew that it's a bit pointless to argue about the name, so he continued. "About _Stacy_. Yes, it's cursed, by my _grandfather_, and my grandfather is, of course, Rezo. He's a wizard. I'm serious, don't laugh!"

For Lina was actually laughing at the remark of Rezo being a wizard. "Oh, you can't expect me to believe that?"

Zelgadis held out his arm firmly and showed her the blue spots all over it. "Dammit, this is the proof," he growled under his breath. "It'll never go away until I return the figure—"

"_Stacy._"

"Stacy!" Zelgadis strangled out, exasperated. "I stole it from him a few years ago, okay? And ever since then, the curse took effect and now I'm cursed with these bloody spots! And I can't get rid of it. The doctors have racked their brains trying to figure out how Rezo did this to me. I finally found _Stacy_ somewhere in my boxes, so now I'm going to return _Stacy_ to him, okay?"

"What? That's it?" Lina frowns.

"Yes," Zelgadis said, smirking.

"But you said it was a long story!"

"I didn't; I just said it was personal, and I don't think I would've told anyone else if it wasn't for the fact that you have it now," Zelgadis muttered. "And now you know the story, so please, for the love of God, would you just give Stacy back to me?"

Lina giggled. "You just called the figure Stacy."

"Well, that's the name you gave it!" Zelgadis said, feeling harassed.

"Who's Rezo, honestly? Is he really a wizard?"

Zelgadis sighed. "Yes, he is, I'm serious about it. I'm sort of a wizard too," he said quietly. "I'm a shaman, you can say."

"Huh, interesting," Lina said, smiling. "You know, I kind of have the feelings that I could do a bit of magic myself too."

"Yeah, you'd probably be the crazy sorceress," Zelgadis said tiredly. "Anymore questions?"

"How come I didn't get cursed by the same thing?"

"Because I was the one who stole it from Rezo," he answered. "If you had stolen it from Rezo, instead of stealing it from me—"

"Excuse me!" Lina said, enraged. "I found it for you! I saved your sorry butt!"

"Okay, okay," Zelgadis said, holding up both of his hands to pacify things a bit. "I get it. Anyway, if you had stolen it from Rezo, you would've gotten the curse too. So the only way to reverse the curse is to, of course, return it back to Rezo. It took me _years_ to figure that out, when I suddenly remembered about stealing the beloved Statue of Liberty mini-figure that you called Stacy from Grandpa Rezo. I didn't think that the curse thing was serious, like you, so I never paid any mind to it. A few days later, I look like this. My face is strangely unaffected, but the rest of my body isn't."

"I see," Lina said, nodding. "Interesting. So is this like real magic and stuff instead of the card tricks or whatever?"

"Good God, yes, it is," Zelgadis said, shuddering. "To think that people would stoop so low as to doing card tricks… That's not even magic!"

"Okay, I get the point," Lina said. "So. You want it back?"

"Do you have any other questions?"

"Well, no not really," she said, beginning to hand Stacy back to Zelgadis. But she pulled it back towards her and grinned. "But I might have some questions that I haven't thought of later on. I bet that you're going to stay away from me from now on, so how am I supposed to ask the questions?"

"That's not fair, the deal doesn't state that—"

"Hey, I make the rules around here!" Some things never change.

Zelgadis harrumphed. "Fine," he said grumpily, folding his arms. "You just have to give me Stacy back, and if you ever have any burning questions on your mind regarding Stacy or whatever"—at this he rolled his eyes—"I will be available for questioning. Are you happy? I'll be in your bio and bio lab anyways. Not to mention theatre and French."

"What?!" Lina sputtered. "How come I never noticed you?"

"One—we've only been in school for two days," Zelgadis said dryly. "Two—I chose the seats at the back, remember? Three—in theatre, we didn't do anything yesterday 'cause it was the first day and we didn't do anything today because Mrs. Fraser was absent. Are you done throwing me the 20 questions yet?"

"No, I'm not," Lina said, curling her lips. "But I will come back to you once I can think of any questions." And with that, she handed back Zelgadis the mini-figure, Stacy. She slapped Gourry on the back. "Hey, Gourry, let's go!"

Gourry snorted and woke up, drool on his chin. "Huh? What? Pizzas to deliver?"

Lina grinned. "Yeah, that's right, let's stop by your pizza place, huh?"

"Wait, detention's not over yet," Zelgadis said, his forehead creases.

Lina snorted. She jabbed her thumb in the teacher's general direction. The teacher who is supposed to watch over detention has already fallen asleep. The two seniors that were in detention with them before, too, had already gotten out of there. "Do you really want to stay in here, Zel?"

_Zel?_ Zelgadis thought, crinkling his nose. _What the hell? Where does she get off to, giving me nicknames and everything?_ "Well, no, but—"

"Funny, you don't struck me as a goody-goody two shoes," Lina said, smirking. She got up from her seat and motioned for Gourry to follow her. "You want to follow us to the pizza place or what?"

Zelgadis curled his lips up and followed the dynamic duo out of the classroom silently.


	3. Rezo! The Evil Blind Priest? WTF?

**Disclaimer:** _Slayers doesn't belong to me, it belongs to its copyrighted and rightful owners. Duh._

**Summary:** _We all know the Slayers gang kicks ass at fighting evil, but I wonder what or who they will be if they ever lived in real life? (As in, reality.) Well, for those who were wondering as well, here's my take at what will happen if the Slayers gang happened to be in our universe instead of the alternate one, hehe. Okay, so I know that the Slayers gang are in school and some of their ages have been altered to fit into the story, and it's kinda a ripoff off my old fic, Slayers: Trapped in School?! but hey, this one is more original than that one, and the Slayers gang is in school originally instead of being trapped in it, so yeah._

**Authoress' Note: **_Meep! I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I actually already HAVE chapter 3 and 4 up to upload, but I didn't get a chance to upload it before I went off to college (that doesn't allow me to bring my laptop! Outrageous!). And when I got home, guess what? One of my family members deleted both chapters! And my other fanfics! It was so frustrating. And here I am, trying to start over again. Bleargh. Might I just remind you that my college is so not internet-friendly? So an update is like totally nonexistent?_

* * *

_****_

****

"Okay, so what exactly are you going to do with Stacy?"

Zelgadis Greywords stared at his newfound—he hesitated to call them friends—acquaintances and squinted at the flat-chested, red-haired, feisty young sophomore girl in front of him. Lina Inverse just stared right back at him, folding her arms and leaning back at the cafeteria's chair. Next to Lina, sat the ever-blur Gourry Gabriev, munching all that he can during lunch. Lina would've been fighting with him for food if she wasn't so interested in hearing what Zelgadis had to say.

"Did I not tell you that I'm probably going to give it back to Rezo to reverse the spell he has on me?" Zelgadis said, sipping the carton of chocolate milk he had bought.

"Oh, now that you mentioned it, you did," Lina said, nodding.

"Well, that's not what I'm going to do."

Lina glared at Zelgadis. "Oh, haha very funny," Lina said, rolling her eyes. "Seriously, then, what are you going to do? You _do_ want to reverse the spell, don't you?"

"Hell, yeah," Zelgadis answered, shaking his head. "OK, so here's what I'm planning: I'm going to _pretend_ that I'm giving it to Rezo, so I'm gonna go to him and say 'here', but I'm not _actually_ giving it to him, so it's a bluff you see, and then I'm gonna hold on to the real Orihalcon statue so that I can throw it in his face when he thought that I had actually _returned_ it and then I'll laugh in his face so it'll be funny."

Lina was surprised Zelgadis could speak so much—and with such a straight face, too! "Okay, you had me confused there," she admitted. _Wonder if that's what he's planning?_ "Wait, did you just call Stacy an Orihalcon statue?"

"Yeah, I did," Zelgadis confirmed.

"Ah, no wonder it's so valuable to Rezo!" Lina said, nodding wisely.

Gourry looked up from his lunch. "Why's it so available?"

"Valuable, Gourry, _valuable_," Lina said, glaring at him. "And quit stuffing yourself so much, it's embarrassing!"

"That's rich, coming from you," Zelgadis muttered, eyeing the wastebasket behind Lina, which is stuffed of Lina's finished lunch.

"Oh, shut up," Lina said, waving her hand away. "Don't tell me you've never heard of an Orihalcon statue, Gourry?!"

"I'm surprised _you've_ heard of it," Zelgadis said. "You're not exactly a sorceress."

"No, I'm not," Lina admitted. "But I told you that I felt as if I could be one, but I wouldn't be practicing white magic, I would be making up all these new spells and it's gonna be a bam when I try it!"

"Yeah, I remember telling you you'd be the crazy sorceress," Zelgadis said. "Looks like I was right."

"Ah, mou!" Lina said, throwing her arms up exasperatedly. "An Orihalcon statue, Gourry, is a valuable piece of art, regardless of its actual appearance. Inside the statue itself, contains a magical spell that nobody really knows anything about, but everyone knows that it's valuable and then it'll help them in some ways, that's why it's so sought-after."

Zelgadis nodded. "Well, you've got it down pat."

"And Zel, I _don't_ think your plan's gonna work out," Lina said, laughing. "I mean, it's the most ridiculous one I've ever heard of. And you talk way too fast for it to be creditable to do."

"I'm gonna do it," Zelgadis said, fuming. "I'm not going to turn it in. In fact, I'm probably going to avoid him for the rest of my life."

"Not hard to do, since you don't really visit grandparents that often, do you?"

"Yeah, but then again he has henchmen…" Zelgadis said hesitantly.

"He has henchmen?!" Lina said, her eyes wide. "Dude, your granddad must be _loaded_!" And everyone knows Lina loves money—next to food. "So are you saying he's gonna send these men after you or something just to get Stacy back? Wow... that's like out of an anime!" [The Authoress smirks]

Zelgadis smirked. "I really wouldn't put it past him not to do it. I mean, if he's in a totally whacked-up anime version of our life, he'd probably be the evil sorcerer even though everyone thought of him as a nice person."

"Yeah, I heard something about him yesterday!" Lina said, remembering. She had asked her sister a little about Rezo and Zelgadis, and while Luna might not have a lot of information on Zelgadis, she did tell Lina a whole lot about Rezo. Apparently Rezo is a priest, and a pretty incredible one at that, since he does seem like the perfect model of a priest. He does charity work, he helps other people, and he's pretty good-looking for an old guy (no signs of aging!)—and all that while he's blind. So it surprises Lina that Rezo's actually the bad guy in the situation.

"Yeah?" Zelgadis said. "What did you hear about him then?"

"Oh, basically that he's a perfect model of a priest and all," Lina said, waving the information off. "I just can't imagine him handing down a curse. And being so power-crazed to want Stacy so much."

"Yeah, well," Zelgadis said grimly. "I'll bet that he wants the Orihalcon statue to cure him of his blindness… Just like I want to return the statue to cure me of this stupid curse."

"Ahh," Lina said. "That makes sense. I thought he'd be okay with being blind, though… I mean, not that I would wan to be blind, but he seems okay about it… No complaints there for the first few decades of his life, eh? And then suddenly he wants to cure his blindness. Isn't he a bit old for it already?"

"Have you _seen_ the guy?" Zelgadis asked. "He looks like he's only 30!"

"Never seen the dude," Lina said, shaking her head. "Luna has, though."

"Who's Luna?" Zelgadis' forehead creases.

"Her sister," Gourry said.

"Kyaa!" Lina screamed loudly, rubbing both her arms with her hands. "Just hearing that makes me have goose bumps!"

Zelgadis rolled his eyes. "Family feud."

"No," Lina mumbled. "Just… never mind."

Gourry has finished his lunch, finally, just in time. The bell rings, signaling the lunch's end for the day.

* * *

_****_

****

"All right, so step 1 in avoiding Grandpa is…?" Lina scrawled on a white piece of paper she ripped from her sketchbook and handed it to the girl next to her, Rowena something, and whispered to her that it should be given to Zelgadis. Zelgadis, Gourry, and Lina are in biology class, and Lina's a few seats away from Zelgadis, while Gourry is dozing off next to her. Unsurprisingly so.

Lina got the reply back just as she was about to doze off herself.

"What are u doing?! Hawke could've seen u, u idiot. We would've ended up on _another_ detention. Neway, not returning his phone calls. And not gonna go to his place every time my 'rents does. Gonna have a sleepover at someone's if he's coming over. Not sure whose."

Lina glared at Zelgadis' back. Zelgadis didn't sign his name either. That was tactful. If the note was caught, Hawke couldn't blame anyone.

"U'll pay for calling me an idiot. Come to my house for sleepover. I'll ask Gourry too if u need company."

"Oh, I'm so scared. What're u gonna do? Fireball me? Come to ur house? Sure, I'm just not sure when grandpa's coming over. Will confirm it later."

Lina blanched then. Why is she so stupid to invite Zelgadis over?! Then he would actually meet Luna! Oh, what a nightmare… Oh, well, he'll have to adjust to her, and Luna will probably have a night-shift or something like that. There's no use in thinking and stressing over something like that.

"Confirm n I'll c u there."

* * *

_****_

****

"Okay, when I said confirm, I didn't mean as soon as possible," Lina said later that evening, after school was over. She had just gotten a phone call from Zelgadis saying that Rezo was coming to his house that evening. Apparently, Rezo has gotten wind that Zelgadis has his Orihalcon statue (or Stacy) and that Zelgadis is _not_ trying to return it to him. So, instead, Rezo decided to come to Zelgadis instead.

"Yeah, well, sorry, Rezo didn't exactly give me that much of a head start," Zelgadis muttered ungraciously. "I mean, I came home and then my mom told me he's coming, that's why she's cleaning up. She only cleans up _that_ hard when Rezo's coming. So I packed my bag and rushed out. Told her I have loads of homework, I'm sleeping over at Gourry's."

Lina raised her eyebrows. "But you're sleeping over _here_."

Zelgadis blushed. "Yeah, I know," he said, shrugging, plopping on to the couch in Lina's living room. "My parents won't really take kindly to me if I'm sleeping over at a girl's house."

Lina rolled her eyes. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm _hardly_ any threat to any guy in this place. I mean, sure, they can't resist my charms, but I'm not interested in guys. All of them are scum. Well, not all of them."

Zelgadis only shrugged again. "It's better for them not to know where I'm really staying at anyways, so that'll give Rezo a false lead if he does want to suddenly 'visit' me."

"Oh, clever!" Lina said, clapping her hands together. She's actually kind of having fun with this hiding-from-Grandpa thing, even though: a) Rezo's not her grandfather, b) _she_ certainly doesn't have to hide from Rezo, and c) she has nothing to do with the whole situation. Well, except for the part where she and Gourry found the statue for Zellie-boy. "I already called Gourry. You're lucky he doesn't have any pizzas to deliver or any babysitting to do."

Zelgadis looks surprised. "Gourry's a babysitter?"

"No," Lina said, rolling her eyes. "He's got a few little cute sisters and brothers." Well, she'd hardly say a few. He has five, to be exact. Two little sisters and three little brothers. "He's actually quite good with kids, if him playing with his siblings is taken into any account."

"Oh, I see," Zelgadis said.

"I know this place is not much when you compare it to yours," Lina said off-handedly, "but it provides me a place. And it's not bad for me."

"I like it," Zelgadis said, shrugging. "It's simple. And you're right. You only need the bare necessities."

"Well, I didn't really say that, and if I did I wouldn't say 'necessities' either, but whatever," Lina said, grinning. "Want some popcorn? I asked Dave to deliver some movies, too. Jackie Chan ones, mostly!"

"Who's Dave?"

"Oh, he's just the movie guy," Lina said, waving him off. "He's a good friend, though—he's in college, he works at the movie store for part-time money and all. He's cool. He doesn't actually deliver the videos. He does for me, for some reason. I think Luna actually misled him to do it. I don't know why, but Luna feels oh-so-responsible for me and strives to make things easier for him."

"Is your sister really that influential?"

"I have no idea, I guess so, if she manages to make Dave deliver the videos and DVDs every time I call the place up," Lina said, shrugging and laughing. "It's great though. No walking for me!"

A knock sounded at the door. "Oh, must be Gourry."

It wasn't. Zelgadis watched as Lina leads a guy who's wearing a cap, with glasses and jacket on, to the living room. Lina goes on to the fridge—which is near the living room, only separated by a counter—telling the guy to "drop off the videos near the TV." She opens the fridge and scans the things in there. "You want any soda, Dave?"

_Ah, so this is Dave,_ Zelgadis thought, eyeing the guy as he drops off the videos near the VCR. Dave wasn't exactly what you'd call handsome, but he's not bad-looking. His cap and jacket look worn-off, but other than that, he doesn't exactly look like a nerd either. He does look like a college guy needing some money.

Dave still hasn't seen Zelgadis on the couch. "Sure, thanks, Lina," he said, grinning at her. "Planning to marathon the movies alone, then?"

Lina tossed a Coke to Dave and Dave caught it. "Nah," she said, smiling. "See the guy on the couch? He hasn't seen any Jackie Chan, which is a shame. So I'm bullying him into it."

Dave finally saw Zelgadis and his eyes lingered at Zelgadis' cursed arms before smiling at him uncomfortably. "Hey, dude," he said. "So you her boyfriend or something?"

Lina almost sputtered _her_ Coke. "God, Dave, no," she said, shaking her head. "He's just watching the movie with me to run from reality. Oh, Gourry's coming too."

"Oh, that blonde?" Dave questioned, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah," Lina said, nodding. "Thanks for the videos, Dave, as always. I'll send you to the door." It always amazes Zelgadis to see a nice and polite side to Lina. "Oh, here's the tip."

"Nah, no thanks, Lina," Dave said, smiling as he nears the door. "Consider it free of charge. Thanks for the Coke." And with that, he closes the door.

Lina shrugged as she enters the living room again. "I have no idea why he doesn't want any tips for sending over the videos," she said, sighing. "I mean, I didn't want him to feel as if he's forced to send the videos for free or something…"

Zelgadis smirked. "I don't think he _feels_ forced sending the videos _here_," he said, emphasizing certain words.

As usual, Lina was oblivious to the message Zelgadis was trying to send. "What are you talking about, Zellie-boy?"

Zelgadis bristled. "Don't call me that! I've got goose bumps on my back now!"

Lina laughed when a knock on the door sounded again. "Now, that _must_ be Gourry."

Sure enough, Gourry arrived with a big backpack. "Hey, Zel," he said. "Your Grandpa coming around to your house or something? That's what I can make out of Lina. She was talking so fast for me to understand her that well."

"Shut up, jellyfish brains!" Lina said, treating him to her knuckle-fist.

"What did you bring?" Zelgadis eyed Gourry's bag suspiciously. "Your bag's huge."

"Oh, just a sleeping bag," Gourry said, shrugging. "And oh, loads of food."

Lina eyed the bag warily. "Yeah, I think we're actually gonna need it, seeing as how no food in this house can possibly enough for the two of us," she readily admits, laughing at herself. "Oh, how about we order Chinese takeouts while watching the movie? Of do you prefer pizzas?"

"I prefer pizzas," Zelgadis said.

"I like Chinese," Gourry contradicted.

Lina paused at the phone. "All right, we'll order both then!" she said spiritedly, grinning, dialing the number for the pizza. "Wow, am I hungry all of a sudden. Hi, hello, Walter's Pizza? Yeah, I want three pizzas—yeah, three… a slumber party? Well… sorta… whatever, just three pizzas… the toppings? Put it all on the pizzas! Yeah, the works, haha—okay, okay… yeah, okay, thanks, five minutes, I'm counting on you guys!"

Next, the Chinese place. "Hi, Mrs. Wong! Yeah, it's Lina… yeah, okay, I'll tell Luna you said hi… Okay, I want three sets of number 6, six sets of number 9 and four sets of number… two! Yeah, yeah… Oh, most of it is for me… Hey, I have a high metabolism. Five minutes, Mrs. Wong! Five!" She hung up and grins. "Well, food's coming! Pop in the first Jackie Chan video, Gourry!"

Lina sank comfortably on the couch next to Zelgadis while Gourry sat at Lina's feet, leaning against the couch.

"That was a lot of food," Zelgadis remarked, grinning.

Lina laughs. "Oh, sure, it was," she said. "Oh, wait; you're serious, aren't you?"

Zelgadis snorted. "Why am I not surprised?" he said, shaking his head. "Who's Jackie Chan, anyways?"

"See!" Lina exclaimed to Gourry. "That's why I have to bully him into seeing it! How can anyone not know the great Jackie Chan is beyond my imagination—I mean, he's only the greatest kung-fu fighter alive doing movies. Well, apart from Bruce Lee and Jet Lee. At least you had an inkling of who he was."

Zelgadis raised an eyebrow. "Chill," he said, grinning. He turns his attention to the movies. "Well, this better be good, Inverse. It better not put me to sleep."

Lina smirked. "I'll make sure you won't fall asleep by punching you repeatedly. I think that'll suffice. Gourry'll help me won't you?"

"Huh?"

****

Four Jackie Chan movies and all of the food finished later, Lina's head had drooped onto Zelgadis' shoulder while Zelgadis had leaned backward on the couch; Gourry had dozed off, leaning his back against the couch and his head leaned against Lina's legs. It would've been a peaceful, serene picture, if not for the fact that someone's looming menacingly over the three teenagers.

"Well, well, well," the man standing over them boomed merrily, as if he's auditioning for Santa Clause or something. "Look what we have here."

Lina was jolted awake and nudged Gourry and Zelgadis awake. "Who the hell are you?" she asked, glaring at him. "And what the hell are you doing in _my_ house? Who lets you in?"

"Why, I let myself in, of course," the man said, smiling down at them. "Get up, Zelgadis, and hand me the Orihalcon statue." Suddenly the man was not all-manners but being menacingly evil-looking, glaring at Zelgadis as Zelgadis glared back at him.

"Ah, this must be the lovely grandfather Zelgadis have been telling us _all_ about," Lina said, grinning, her voice sugar-syrupy, implying the fact that she and Gourry knew about the Orihalcon statue too. Well, Rezo must've been well-informed beforehand, or he would've hesitated to involve Lina and Gourry in the whole affair.

"Ah, I'm so glad I've been talked about," Rezo said. Lina could tell that if he wasn't blind, he would've rolled his eyes.

"Yes, of course, you do realize that it can't all be good talk, obviously," Lina said, shrugging and grinning cheekily at the priest. For some reason, she's in a mood to taunt people, and at the time, Rezo's the only one available. Besides, Rezo really can't do anything about taunting, can he? _Oh, wait, he's a priest. And apparently a wizard._

"Yes, well, and you _do_ realize that I'm not exactly trying to correct my… um, reputation here?" Rezo asked, smiling evilly. "In fact, I think I won't even bother. I think it'll all go away once I get the Orihalcon statue and once you're all pulverized anyway."

"Oh, great, I hope he's not going to say any cliché quote to end this chapter…" Lina said, mostly to herself.

"Prepare to meet your doom."

"Get me out of this crappy fic," Lina deadpanned.


End file.
